“MY Parents raised me as A CHILD WITH NO OTHER CHOICE, AND THIS really irritated my younger brother.”
Did the joke cause you to shiver or shake your head in disbelief? Do you laugh out loud even though that you shouldn’t? If yes, then you probably had a shocking joke that many would classify to be “dark humor jokes”–and this isn’t suitable for everybody, evidently. However, if macabre and twisted dark humor jokes make you laugh this may be a sign you’re more intelligent than average people.
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It’s real and has been proved by science. A study from 2017 by Austrian neurologists published in Cognitive Processing discovered that those who love dark jokes which are defined as “humor that deals with sinister topics such as death, disease handicap, deformity or even war with amusement,” may actually have greater IQs over those who don’t. Additionally is that they’re less negative or more aggressive than those who choose family-friendly, G-rated jokes. What’s the reason? Because if you discern the fun in the darkest aspects of your life, and are able to laugh at the darkest jokes, you’re much less likely to take life too seriously.
Do you want to discover whether you’re also a happy-go-lucky genius? Have a look at these funny dark jokes. If you’re able to laugh regardless of the grim subject matter, you could be the kindest and most knowledgeable person you’ve met.
Funny Dark Humor Jokes
- My wife has told me that she’ll hit me with the computer if I do not step out of the way. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
- I just received my doctor’s results for a test and I’m very unhappy. The results show that I’m not going on to become a doctor.
- As I grow older I think about my losses to people in the process. Perhaps a career in the field of tour guides not the best choice for me.
- The doctor recommended a cream to treat my rash on my skin. He told me I had Psoriasis.
- Man walks into a forest that is magical and attempts at cutting down a talkative tree. “You cannot take me out,” it complains. “I’m the only tree that talks!” The man replies, “You may be a talking tree, but you’ll be able to engage in conversation.”
- My uncle Frank passed away, he wanted his remains to be interred in his favourite beer mug. The last thing he wanted was that he be Frank to be buried in Stein.
- My wife put an note on the refrigerator that reads, “This isn’t working.” I’m not certain what she’s talking about. I opened the door of my fridge and it’s functioning perfectly!
- Breakfast can be the biggest breakfast in the entire day. But not if it’s poisoned. The antidote then becomes the most crucial.
- “What’s the name of your sir?” The principal asked the student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you speak with a stammer?” the principal inquired. The student responded, “No sir, my dad is a stutterer but the person that registered my name is a total joke.”
- When I find love names inscribed on the branches of a tree, I do not find it charming or romantic. I find it odd that people carry knives on dates.
- I was reading that someone in London is shot each and every second. Poor guy.
- What’s red and harmful to your teeth? Bricks.
- What was the reason why Mozart slaughtered all of his chickens? When he asked them which was the most talented composer and they all said, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
- A man can light an open flame, and he’ll stay warm for a couple of hours. Put a man in a an open flame, and he’ll remain warm throughout the rest of his life.
- My wife and me have made the difficult conclusion that we don’t have children. If anyone does, email me their contact information and we’ll drop them off next week.
- Even those who seem to be good at nothing can manage to make a smile appear on your face. For example when you pull them down the staircase.
- I went to visit my friend at his new home. He instructed me to prepare my home at home. So I let him go. I am not a fan of having visitors.
- I was reading a fantastic book about a dog that is immortal the last time. It was hard to stop reading.
- A few days ago my wife wanted me to hand her her lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her an adhesive stick. There’s no sign of her talking to me.
- Don’t break someone’s heart because they have only one. Make them break their bones instead as they have more than 206.
- My Granddad’s final words to me before his death. “Are are you holding on to the ladder?”
- It’s true that a research study found recently that humans consume much more fruit than monkeys. This is real. I don’t recall the last time I’ve eaten the flesh of a monkey.
- How can you tell the differences between jam and jelly? It’s impossible to jelly in a clown’s car.
- “I have a job with animals,” the guy says to his girlfriend. “That’s amazing,” she replies. “I am a fan of an individual who takes care of animals. What is your job?” “I’m the butcher” He says.
- What was the reason for the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a fight inside the next corner.
- Today was a horrible day. My ex was hit by an uninvolved bus. Then I lost my job as bus driver!
- “Just Say”no to those drugs!” In reality, if I’m speaking to my drug I’ve probably have said “yes.
- I do not have any carbon footprint. I simply drive around.
- It’s essential to have a solid vocabulary. If I had been aware of the difference between “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best acquaintances would still be alive.
- What’s the one thing that’s going to get through the head of a fly when it strikes the car’s windshield speeding 70 miles per hour? Its butt.
- A daily apple keeps the doctor at bay. At least, it will when you throw it at it with enough force.
- Imagine you entered the bar and saw an entire line of people ready to swing at you. This is your punchline.
- There’s a fish who can breakdance! But only for 20 seconds but only once.
- Today, I made the decision to back to the home I grew up in. I asked residents if they would let me come in because I was feeling nostalgic, however, they refused and banged the door against my face. The parents of my family are among the most awful.
- I’m going to make a joke about the trickle-down effect of economics. But the majority of you won’t understand it.
Really Dark Jokes
- My wife and me were dining out and the waitress began playing with me. “She evidently has COVID,”” my wife told me. “Why?” I inquired. My wife responded with a sneer “Because she doesn’t have any taste.”
- I’ve heard that Sony is unveiling a new console in the midst of the outbreak. It’s called Plaguestation 5.
- A man is given the ticket to a plane and he’ll fly for the day. Get him out of the plane at 3000 feet and it will fly for the remainder all his days.
- It was a great time in Russia watching comedians stand up ridiculing Putin. The jokes weren’t great however I enjoyed the manner of delivery.
- The wife I have for 60 years said to her, “Let’s go upstairs and create a romantic relationship.” I sighed and told her, “Choose one, I cannot make both.”
- What does My dad as well as Nemo have in the same? They’re both missing.
- A doctor enters an area with an ailing patient. He informs him that “I’m sorry but you’re only left with 10 minutes left.” The patient then asks the doctor, “Ten what, Doc? What are the hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor is calm and looks at him and says “Nine.”
- I didn’t have a close relationship with my father at the time he passed away. It was fortunate that He stepped into a landmine.
- Why aren’t orphans allowed to play baseball? They aren’t sure where home is.
- I began crying as dad cut onions. Onions was such a great dog.
- My elderly relatives would mock me at weddings by saying, “You’ll be next!” But they soon stopped after I started doing the same at funerals.
- I was digging in our backyard when I came across a box filled with gold coins. I was planning to go to my home to inform my wife about the discovery however, I was reminded the reason I was working in the garden.
- My grandfather said I’m too dependent on technology. I declared him a hypocrite, and disconnected the life-support system he relied on.
- Two hunters are hunting in forest when the one begins to collapse. The hunter’s friend immediately dials 911. “My friend’s breathing isn’t there,” he shouts into the phone. “What do I do?” “Relax,” the operator says to him. “I can help. First, let’s ensure that he’s not dead.” The silence is followed by an explosion. The person returns on the phone and says “OK Now what?”
- My son, who’s interested in the study of astronomy, inquired about what happens to stars. “Usually it’s an accidental overdose my son,” I told him.
- My friend’s dog passed away and I tried to console her by getting her a comparable one. This only made her angry. She shouted at me “What do I accomplish with two dogs dead?”
- What’s yellow but isn’t swimming? A school bus full of kids.
- What is my difference with cancer? My dad didn’t beat cancer.
- My friend told me that if he fell off the edge of a cliff the fall would happen on his own initiative. It’s a good thing that he has a Civic.
- “Where exactly do you intend to take me, Doctor?” the patient inquired. “To the morgue,”” the doctor said. “What?” The patient screamed. “But I’m not yet dead!” “And we’re still not there,” the doctor said.
- If you give one kidney, everyone loves you and you’re the ultimate hero. If you donate five kidneys, everyone’s screaming. It’s a shame!
This is the Best Dark Humor Jokes
- The person who took my diary has died. My thoughts are with his family.
- A father tells his son, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father is sighing and then says, “You know, you can do better.” “Thanks dad,” the son says. He shakes his head then turns to say, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
- Do you remember the last phrase my grandfather told me prior to kicking the bucket? “Grandson look at the distance I’m able to kick with this bucket.”
- What is the difference between a wizard who raises undead, and a hot vampire? The first is a necromancer, and the other is neck romancer.
- A child decided to burn his home down. The dad was watching and cried tears of joy. He wrapped his arms around her and declared, “That’s arson.”
- I enjoy spending my free time playing chess with the elderly men at the parks. It’s not an easy task. It’s difficult to find 32 old men.
- What’s worse than gnashing your teeth into an apple and discovering the tiny worm? A bite into the apple and discovering the half of a the size of a worm.
- My parents raised me as an all-only kid, and that really irritated my younger brother.
- Did you know of Pillsbury Doughboy? He died from an infection of yeast.
- “Welcome again to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. We are pleased to see many new faces today!”
- “I have both good as well as bad,” the doctor said to his patient. “Give me the positive announcement first” she said. “Your tests have come back,” the doctor said, “and you have only two days left to live.” “That’s the best news?” said the patient. “What’s the problem?” “I’ve tried to get in touch with you for the past two days.”
- I hate double standards. When you torch a body in an incinerator, you’re “being an honorable friend.” Burn it at home, and it’s “destroying the evidence.”
- My most favorite novel the Hunchback story from Notre Dame. I love characters with a dark backstory.
- When I ordered food in the restaurant I asked the server what they do to prepare the chicken. “Nothing particular,” he explained. “We simply tell them that we’ll be dead.”
- A man is walking with a child into the woods. The boy looks at him and responds, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m afraid.” The man says, “How do you think you feel? I’m going to walk back to my home on my own.”
- My grief counselor was killed this past week. He was so efficient in his job that I didn’t care at all.
- I’d love to have children in the future. I’m not sure I can endure them for more than that, however.
- Did you know about the man who had his left side cut off? It’s now all well!
- When is a joke considered an old-fashioned joke? When it disappears and does not return.
